Pain changed people :')

Im a girl. I over think everything. When i say i love you im not lying. I still remember how we first met, i remember when we first started talking. I remember everything about us. I miss you. I miss all those memories. 'A relationship will only go as far as you both want it to'. Yes it is true. But what i see is only me want this relationship to go far. And i didnt see any respon from you. 'He'll never know how much i loved him'. Yes you never know. I knew it. Because you never realize anything about me. I tried my best to not feel anything for you. But guess what? I failed. Fullstop. I want to be your mind, your babe, your headache, your frown, your wrong, your right, your sweetheart, your pain, your happiness, your boo and of course, i want to be your everything :') but how i want to make a rainbow without rain ? How i want to build a house without wood? How i want to rent a car without money? 'She used to people giving up on her' aha, because im used to it. People come into my life, then go and leave me alone. 'Losing someone hurts, missing that someone hurts more. Wanting them back kills you'. Hurt me with you words, say im fat girl, say im stupid, say im useless. People with these kind attitude, you know what? I can say whatever i want to say. But i choose to be silent and smile if theres something you said hurt my feeling. I accept everything, but i was wrong. The truth is no one accept me if im doing the same. So i gave a shit is better than keep silent and people started to judge me. I hate arguing but i dont want to keep a shit. Your level thinking and your expectation is toooo high for me to catch. But one thing you should know when i moved on, i dont look back anymore. Yess i admitted, i used to make you pissed off, make you mad and all but please. Look at me from the other side. Not from my weakness and my badness. I loved you at your worst, i cared for you more than your parents but it seems that you are toooo blind to see this. 'I wish that i could stop loving you so much, cause im the only one thts trying to keep us together'. Now i can accept the fact that im not that perfect to be with anyone. 'When you love someone, no matter how much they hurt you, no matter how many promises they break, no matter how many times they fail, you will always love them'. This is how i feel but one day, i truly believe that you can find someone who can completely turn your world around and you will find that one person who deserves all your love, who deserves every part of you. And now im move on when things aren't like before. Im sure there is someone out there who will love me more. 'She accepted the fact that she and he will never be, but he'll always be the one who puts butterflies in her stomach no matter what. For the people who experienced the pain of a broken heart, dont ever give up on love'. But now, I give up on love. I dont trust guy. I dont trust love. And i dont trust anyone. Just hope for miracle to happen if you want my trust.